Table of contents
Do you know the feeling of wasting your energy on things you can't control? The Three Circles of Concern model helps you direct your mental focus on the things you can control and let go of things beyond your control.
This is how the 3 circles of affairs work:
Identify a stressful issue or person that makes you angry, sad, or anxious.
Use the 3 circles model :
Innermost circle – “ME” : Your thoughts, feelings, time, communication and behavior – everything you can influence .
-
Middle circle – “YOU” : The thoughts, feelings, time and behavior of others – you have no control here .
Outermost circle – “God/Universe” : Things like the weather or pandemics – no human has control here.
Reflection: Think about your identified topic and ask yourself:
Whose business am I involved in (mentally and practically)?
How productive is it to give my time and energy there?
What would be different if I focused more on my inner circle?
What is this concept useful for?
We spend a lot of time thinking about other people's business. For example, every time you get internally angry because someone is unkind, you shift your focus and energy onto that person's behavior. Whether they are kind or not is their responsibility—how you respond is yours. Using the 3 Circles, you can reflect on how you deal with various aspects and relationships in your life. They help you direct your energy toward the areas you can truly influence and shift your focus away from what's outside your control.
Support – simple and effective
Our specially developed formula combines vitamins, minerals, adaptogens, bacterial cultures, and much more to support you in your daily life. Perfectly balanced for a straightforward daily routine – easy to take and versatile. This all-in-one solution helps you maintain your energy and provide sustainable support for your body, without any additional effort.
- 87 ingredients
- Produced in Germany
- Study-based effectiveness
- Especially for women over 40
Clear, honest, to the point – we deliver solutions instead of empty promises.
Additional benefits of the 3 circles of affairs
Self-reflection: Be aware of where you give your energy.
Self-responsibility: Focus on your circle and on your thoughts, feelings and actions.
-
Resilience: Consider your feelings separately from external factors and the behavior of others – this strengthens your resilience and self-efficacy.
Personal development: Let go of what you cannot control and focus on your development.
Compassion: The 3 circles promote empathy and understanding by respecting the responsibilities and boundaries of other people.
Tips for implementation
Regularly: Ask yourself regularly: “Where is my focus?”
Reminder: Draw the 3 circles of issues and stick them on your desk or refrigerator.
Between stimulus and response: Minimize impulsive reactions by briefly reflecting on the 3 circles of affairs.
I-messages: Talk about your feelings and needs from within your circle: “I am angry/sad/anxious because I need…”
-
Process: Living from your inner circle takes practice. Stick with it and trust the process.
Self-empathy: When you lose focus, don't criticize yourself, but gently bring yourself back into your circle.
Your regular mental check-in
In stressful moments, pause for a moment and ask yourself:
Whose business am I currently on?
Am I wasting energy on things I can't control?
How would it feel to bring my focus back into my own circle?
When you're preoccupied with what others think of you, how they behave, or what they should change, you shift your focus outward.
Important: This model doesn't mean you become unempathetic, ignore others, or suppress your feelings. Quite the opposite:
-
It helps you communicate clearly and consciously from within your own circle .
You can talk about your emotions without getting lost in things that are beyond your control.
Your responsibility lies in your reaction – not in the thoughts or actions of others.
The more often you practice this reflection, the easier it will be to maintain your focus – and the calmer you will become in stressful situations.
Conclusion: The 3 circles of the matter for more focus and self-responsibility
The Three Circles of Concern is an effective reflection tool for sharpening your mental focus. By distinguishing between your own concerns and those of others, you'll see more clearly which aspects of your life you can be effective in. The model helps you focus on what's important and take responsibility for your reactions and emotions. This not only improves your mental focus, but also makes you calmer and more empathetic in your interactions with others.
Have fun trying it out!
Want exciting content about perimenopause in your inbox?
We believe in the power of community and exchange. Feel free to follow us on Instagram | Pinterest . Or receive our emails conveniently in your inbox.
Would you like more information?
Blood sugar management, hormonal balance, or healthy sleep – Daylista researches the most important answers for you regarding your health. Our nine focus areas help you specifically improve your well-being: Pump it Up, Happy Sleeping , No Drama be Queen , From the Heart , Under Pressure , L'amour toujours , I can see clearly now , Unstoppable , and Just the way you are . Our Navigator is a resource for you. Because you know what you want – and we know how to achieve it. Visit the Navigator now.
Questions and answers about the 3 circles
What are the 3 circles of affairs – and why are they helpful?
The three circles ("I," "You," "Universe") help you distinguish what you truly have control over. They support you in directing your energy and gaining mental clarity—especially in emotionally challenging situations.
How do I find out which circle I am currently in mentally?
Ask yourself, "Whose thoughts or behaviors are I currently preoccupied with?" When you focus on things you can't change (e.g., the behavior of others), you're outside your sphere of influence. The goal is to get back into your own circle.
What do I do if I notice that I am constantly “moving” in unfamiliar circles?
This is human nature – it's important to notice it. Gently bring your focus back: Take a deep breath, notice what you're thinking or feeling right now, and ask yourself what you can specifically do or change right now. This trains your self-leadership.
Can I also deal with conflicts better with the 3 circles of affairs?
Yes! The model helps you stay true to yourself and not automatically react to the behavior of others. You learn to speak from your perspective ("I-messages") and set boundaries more clearly, without judging or controlling.
Do I always have to stay in my circle – does that mean I should stop caring about others?
No, quite the opposite: You can be empathetic and supportive without taking responsibility for others. The focus is on acting from within your own circle—consciously, self-determinedly, and compassionately.
Laura Bierling – Coach, Mediator, Resilience Trainer
As a coach, I help people gain clarity about their desires and develop inner strength. I know how challenging it can be to balance one's own needs with career, family, and expectations. With Daylista, I want to encourage women to consciously shape their forties and fifties – with confidence, ease, and the courage to embrace change.
Why women over 35 need more protein for their metabolism
Sport in perimenopause: exercise as key
Why perimenopause is so difficult to recognize
Brain fog in perimenopause: causes and clear solutions
